Happy New Year!

2010 has been the best year yet. 2011 is going to be even better!

I love new beginnings, don't you?

Announcing: The Crooked Shoe Awards

If you have been perusing any of the millions of movie review websites and blogs out there, you have surely seen an end-of-the-year "Top Ten" list or two. Well, here at Crooked Shoes, I'm not just doing a list of my ten favorite movies of the year...oh no, I'm doing a whole awards show...well, awards posting...let's just call it an "awards shindig." I'm going all out for this because I really, really, really enjoy honoring the very best of cinema every year, while hopefully reminding you of a few forgotten gems in the process. The only problem is that, because I have no access to advanced screenings or screener copies (and because I live in Hole-in-the-Wall, Nowhere...which, by the way, isn't close to any of the however many thousands of theaters showing Black Swan right now), there is simply no way for me to compile a complete list of the year's best by the beginning of 2011, when I haven't been able to see so many of the awards favorites. So, I haven't exactly set a date for when I will be announcing the winners of the highly-coveted and oh-so-pretty (read: completely nonexistent) Crooked Shoe Awards, but rest assured, it should be sometime around Oscar night, if not a few weeks after. While you wait, I'm still going to be reviewing movies (A whole new year of movies is about to begin!), talking about dance (lots of goodies to come), and sharing my opinion right here at Crooked Shoes. Also, just so you know what to expect, I have included below a list of the eight categories my awards shindig will be covering (as well as descriptions of some). Check it out!

Night of the Demons (2010)

Directed By: Adam Gierasch

Starring: Monica Keena, Shannon Elizabeth, Diora Baird, Michael Copon, & Edward Furlong

MPAA Rating: R

My Rating: 4 / 10

It isn't must-see horror cinema, but 1988's Night of the Demons is a fun-as-hell fright flick that is perfect for a Halloween party or late-night movie marathon. And, unlike many movies, I didn't really mind seeing it remade. Why? Because a remake, if done right, could have been just as much fun as its predecessor. I mean, it isn't like the formula was terribly hard to update. Gratuitously naked women + prank-loving demons + creepy haunted house = a good night of horror. Right...right...right? The cast seemed flawless for such a film. Headlined by Monica Keena, Diora Baird, and Shannon Elizabeth (straight-to-DVD horror vixen Tiffany Shepis also appears in a limited role), it seemed almost impossible for the filmmakers to go wrong from there. Alas, they do and quite badly. The remake, unfortunately, substitutes good old-fashioned movie fun for a lot of uninspired gore gags that are all filmed so jerkily and edited so shoddily that even they don't have the effect the filmmakers desired. Throughout the movie, I felt only one emotion, and it was the one feeling that a remake of Night of the Demons should never, never, never elicit: complete boredom.

Easy A (2010)

Directed By: Will Gluck

Starring: Emma Stone, Penn Badgley, Amanda Bynes, Dan Byrd, & Thomas Haden Church

MPAA Rating: PG-13

My Rating: 8 / 10

Every star has that one movie that marked his or her transition from star to star (cue jazz hands). For Superbad scene-stealer, Emma Stone, that movie is Easy A. It is the movie where she finally steps up from supporting player to leading lady, and she does it with undeniable charm and razor-sharp comedic timing. Of course, let's face it, even when she was a supporting character in such films as The House Bunny and the aforementioned Superbad, she was always the cinematic stand-out, showcasing so much potential that she seemed to be destined for a big breakout role. I'm pleased to say that Olive, Easy A's sharp and witty heroine, is the perfect character for Stone. Wise beyond her years and yet super sexy, Olive seems to have been written specifically with Stone in mind. I cannot put into words how refreshing it is to see a young actress who is so talented and yet so apparently grounded. Emma Stone doesn't need to court paparazzi or "sex up" her public persona in order to stay relevant; she does it by just being a really great actress and choosing good roles.

Merry Christmas, Guys and Dolls

The Kids Are All Right (2010)

Directed By: Lisa Cholodenko

Starring: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, & Josh Hutcherson

MPAA Rating: R

My Rating: 9 / 10

Having a family is hard. It doesn't matter if you are a straight couple with no children, a single mother with one child, or a gay couple with two children, there will always be complications. Despite religious leaders and politicians insisting that the best environment for a child contains a married man and woman, that is an over-simplification of the bonds that form among anyone who exists together as a family. Talk to any married person or to anyone who has children, and they will all tell you, "It is hard." The Kids Are All Right is not really about the difficulties of families, however, despite spending a great deal of time dealing with them. Instead, it is more about all of the things that make these difficulties worth while. Painting a beautiful and painstakingly authentic portrait of a modern family from California, the film tells the story of Nic and Jules (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, respectively), partners who had two children, Joni and Laser (Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson, respectively), thanks to an anonymous sperm donor. Each of the women gave birth to one of their children, making Joni and Laser half-siblings who share a biological father.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Directed By: Edgar Wright

Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jason Schwartzman, & Kieran Culkin

MPAA Rating: PG-13

My Rating: 10 / 10

This is why you shouldn't prejudge a movie. When Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was in theaters, I was convinced that it wasn't my type of movie. Because of that, I flat-out refused to spend $10 to see it in theaters...a decision that disappoints me now. Why, you ask? Well, because Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is exactly the kind of movie I love: endlessly funny, surprisingly intelligent, and visually innovative. In a time when most movies set out to be point-and-shoot narratives with no style and no personality, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is two of the most original and unique hours of film you'll see this year. Director Edgar Wright has made some good, funny movies in the past (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, etc.), but this movie, a cinematic adaptation of a popular graphic novel series, is doubtlessly his masterpiece. It tells the story of the titular Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) who must defeat the seven evil ex-boyfriends of his new girlfriend, Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), if he wants to date her.

This Should Warm You Up.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010)

Directed By: Tom Six

Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, & Akihiro Kitamura

MPAA Rating: R

My Rating: 1 / 10

There is a very wide range of emotions that I imagine writer and director Tom Six hoped to elicit in audiences watching The Human Centipede (First Sequence). Boredom and disinterest were probably not among them. But, you see, this film is not really a film at all; it is a gimmick painfully stretched out to ninety minutes. How is it stretched out, you ask? By employing every standard horror movie cliche imaginable, that's how. Six knows how to create a morbid centerpiece, but he has no idea about how to implement it in a full-length movie. So, by the time the titular "human centipede" came around, I was so dreadfully bored and unengaged with the narrative that I didn't really care. What should have been a shocking, disturbing concept ended up feeling completely lame and uninspired. And, allow me to blunt for a moment: if you can't make a movie where three people are surgically attached mouth-to-anus style and at least make it interesting, then you have failed...and failed miserably.

Dorian Gray (2010)

Directed By: Oliver Parker

Starring: Ben Barnes, Colin Firth, Rebecca Hall, Ben Chaplin, & Rachel Hurd-Wood

MPAA Rating: R

My Rating: 9 / 10

I'm going to make a rather bold claim to start off what is sure to be a rather glowing review. This claim might be bold, but I believe it to be quite true. Dorian Gray is the most underappreciated film of the year...not "one of the" or "perhaps the," but "the" as in the only one. Sitting at a respectable, but insignificant 6.3 rating on the IMDb and sporting a paltry 44% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it would seem to the casual observer that Dorian Gray is an undeniably dud, a cinematic turkey, if you will. But, those observations would by wholly inaccurate. In fact, Dorian Gray is not just the most underappreciated films of the year; it is, quite simply, one of the best. I cannot tell you why I seem to be lone defender of this film, when so many others have disregarded it. I found myself swept away by its visuals, enamored by its performances (particularly a very sympathetic Ben Barnes in the title role, as well as a perfectly devilish Colin Firth), and fully engaged in its story. All of this coming from someone who thinks that Oscar Wilde practically walked on water. Indeed, Dorian Gray does not remain 100% loyal to its source material, but it captures the spirit of the text, an achievement that so many other filmmakers have failed to obtain.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)

Directed By: Mike Newell

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, & Alfred Molina

MPAA Rating: PG-13

My Rating: 6 / 10

If you are one of those people who likes movies to be, you know, smart...well then, there's this dandy documentary called Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work out now on DVD, Blu-Ray, and Netflix Instant Watcher, and I highly recommend it. But for those of us who can enjoy a movie that is, shall we say, a little dumber...okay, a lot dumber, then Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time might be right up your alley, especially if you, like me, have grown tired of self-important, all-too-serious action movies that have forgotten the meaning of the word f-u-n. Just as there is a place for intelligent documentaries and serious dramas, there will always be a need for movies made specifically for mindless, perhaps even guilty, entertainment. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, packed to the gills with action sequence after action sequence, can best be described as James Bond meets 1999's The Mummy by way of Indiana Jones. If that doesn't make you even the slightest bit excited, then remember: Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work is out now on DVD, Blu-Ray, and Netflix Instant Watcher.

It Has Happened.

(Lady Gaga at the 2010 Video Music Awards with servicemen and women unfairly affected by the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.)

Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed by our Congress. Wow...just typing those words feels strange. Great, but strange. In many ways, as much as I have stamped my feet, demanded change, and truly believed that it was coming, not once did I ever stop and think about how it would feel when it got here. Now, I know...and it feels strange. Strange, because so much has been accomplished today and yet, there is still so much to be done. The repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell will help so many our brave servicemen and women, who have been forced to lie and give up their freedom in order to serve the country they love, but for most of them, they will still be treated like second-class citizens while at home, because they still won't be able to get married and, in some states, won't even be able to adopt children. But, I won't dwell on that too much; after all, today is a great day for this country. It is a day in which our country has finally lived up to its greatest promises...a day in which our country has finally shown respect to the people who serve it so bravely. It is a day to celebrate.

Today, I also understand what First Lady Michelle Obama meant when she said, "For the first time in my life, I'm proud of my country." I have always been proud of my country, I am devotedly patriotic, and I truly believe that America is the greatest country on earth. But, days like today, when I am reminded of this great and unyielding pride, it is so overwhelming that I feel as though I couldn't possibly be prouder. When I think of the repeal of the law, which began as a piece of civil rights legislation but gradually became archaic, I picture Lieutenant Dan Choi, who just wanted to serve his country, but with openness and honesty. I wonder, why should we have ever asked him to lie when he was sacrificing his life for us? How much could we ask of him? For him to risk his life daily was too much of a sacrifice, but having him do it while lying because of some inane law is not just ridiculous...it is immoral, and it undermines our country's core values. I also picture Senator John McCain who was one of the most vocal and determined opponents of the repeal. I wonder how he would have felt if, as he lived in a prisoner-of-war camp, he received a letter telling him that his service wasn't needed...that he wasn't good enough to serve his country. Because, that is exactly what Don't Ask, Don't Tell told the more than 14,000 servicemen and women disbanded because of it. It was worded a little nicely...but the true meaning had the same bitter, hateful edge. I hope that, as Senator McCain goes to bed tonight next to the wife that he can proudly acknowledge and love openly, he realizes how much he has betrayed the troops he so loudly proclaims to support.

But, he wasn't alone. Other congressmen and women voted to keep the ban in place, and each and every one of them should be ashamed. They denied the facts in order to push their own political agendas and, in doing so, tried to irreparably harm our military and our servicemen and women. Hopefully, we will all take note of who voted how when reelection time arrives, so that true justice can be dispensed by the American people. If you would like to see how your representative voted, click here. If you would like to see how your senator voted, click here. Now, a new phase of the war against Don't Ask, Don't Tell has begun. It is time to thank those congressmen and women who voted for a repeal, and to remove those who didn't from office. But, more than anything, it is a time for us to struggle against complacency. Supporters of equal rights have won an incredible victory today, but the fight is far from over. So much more has to be done, and it is crucial to remember that Don't Ask, Don't Tell is not dead yet. It will take months (and, according to some, even years) before it will be officially buried and, in that time, we must remain vigilant to ensure that our government quickly and safely enacts the repeal. I have hope that this will happen...I have hope that a wave of change has come to this country and that, very soon, we will all look back and recognize how ridiculous the opponents of gay rights really were.

(The incredibly brave and admirable Lt. Dan Choi during a Don't Ask, Don't Tell protest. He was one of the more than 14,000 servicemen and women discharged under the policy.)

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (2010)

Directed By: Ricki Stern & Anne Sundberg

Starring: Joan Rivers

MPAA Rating: R

My Rating: 9 / 10

Honesty...it is what has defined Joan Rivers, it is what has made her a legend, and yet it is also what has made her a target of the very people who should employ her. When her manager bluntly calls the rest of the cast of The Celebrity Apprentice a bunch of "F-listers," normal celebrities would have to issue an apology and kiss their costars' asses for the next two months, no matter how true they believed the statement to be. But, let's face it, Annie Duke and Brande Roderick are F-listers...and, as vicious as it is, brutal honesty has a sort of uncomfortable freshness about it. And no one does "brutal" better than Joan Rivers, who famously uses the f-word like it's going out of style and verbally berated a heckler during a stand-up routine. Her calling the heckler a "stupid ass" and a "son of a bitch" is documented here, and the moment is just as uncomfortable on film as it must have been in person. Though, while uncomfortable, it is also fascinating...we can practically see Joan Rivers fighting  to keep the audience on her side because, while Joan has become famous by being brutally honest about others, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work is about her being honest with herself, and the stark reality that haunts her everyday is that everyone, from her harshest critic to the guy in the front row, is waiting for her to fail.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)

Directed By: Michael Apted

Starring: Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, Ben Barnes, Will Poulter, and Liam Neeson

MPAA Rating: PG

My Rating: 8 / 10

There has been a surprising level of consistency when it comes to the quality of the Narnia films, starting with 2005's utterly charming The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and continuing on to 2008's darker, but nonetheless delightful Prince Caspian. Now, we have arrived at the third entry in the franchise, which has quickly (and unfortunately) lost box-office clout following its mega-blockbuster first installment. It's too bad, since The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is every bit as magical and touching as its predecessors. While other family franchises have grown up and developed into more adult-focused, PG-13 fare and while there's nothing wrong with that, The Chronicles of Narnia has retained a certain childlike innocence, despite developing darker themes. It can be frightening, but never too frightening. It can be intense, but never too intense. It can be dark, but never too dark. This might not be beneficial when it goes toe-to-toe with the likes of Harry Potter at the box-office, but I certainly appreciate it. Movies like The Voyage of the Dawn Treader have a special place in cinema and in my heart, whether the public understands it or not.

Let the Dance Begin . . .

"There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good."

- Edwin Denby