Directed By: Lisa Cholodenko
Starring: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, & Josh Hutcherson
MPAA Rating: R
My Rating: 9 / 10
Having a family is hard. It doesn't matter if you are a straight couple with no children, a single mother with one child, or a gay couple with two children, there will always be complications. Despite religious leaders and politicians insisting that the best environment for a child contains a married man and woman, that is an over-simplification of the bonds that form among anyone who exists together as a family. Talk to any married person or to anyone who has children, and they will all tell you, "It is hard." The Kids Are All Right is not really about the difficulties of families, however, despite spending a great deal of time dealing with them. Instead, it is more about all of the things that make these difficulties worth while. Painting a beautiful and painstakingly authentic portrait of a modern family from California, the film tells the story of Nic and Jules (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, respectively), partners who had two children, Joni and Laser (Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson, respectively), thanks to an anonymous sperm donor. Each of the women gave birth to one of their children, making Joni and Laser half-siblings who share a biological father.
That sperm donor is Paul (Mark Ruffalo), an organic farmer and restaurateur, who donated sperm when he was just nineteen and is shocked to be contacted by the two children he unknowingly helped to conceive. They want to meet him and he's...you know, cool with it...I mean, why not? He's the kind of guy who is cool with pretty much anything, really. But, his arrival causes more drama than anyone could have anticipated, and ultimately threatens the bond between Nic and Jules, as well as their relationship with their children. The Kids Are All Right is such a profound piece of cinema, because it never feels the need to "address" the fact that Nic and Jules are lesbians. In fact, with only a few minor tweaks to the film's core dilemma, this story could have been about a straight couple just as easily. It's so refreshing to see a movie that presents a gay character and then moves on, treating them not as a stereotype, but as just another character (Kieran Culkin's character in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was, thankfully, treated in much the same way). It will be a true sign of great progress when all films present LGBT characters as nonchalantly as this.
That sperm donor is Paul (Mark Ruffalo), an organic farmer and restaurateur, who donated sperm when he was just nineteen and is shocked to be contacted by the two children he unknowingly helped to conceive. They want to meet him and he's...you know, cool with it...I mean, why not? He's the kind of guy who is cool with pretty much anything, really. But, his arrival causes more drama than anyone could have anticipated, and ultimately threatens the bond between Nic and Jules, as well as their relationship with their children. The Kids Are All Right is such a profound piece of cinema, because it never feels the need to "address" the fact that Nic and Jules are lesbians. In fact, with only a few minor tweaks to the film's core dilemma, this story could have been about a straight couple just as easily. It's so refreshing to see a movie that presents a gay character and then moves on, treating them not as a stereotype, but as just another character (Kieran Culkin's character in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was, thankfully, treated in much the same way). It will be a true sign of great progress when all films present LGBT characters as nonchalantly as this.
And the film is bolstered by remarkably strong performances. The cast is wisely limited to only a handful of actors, giving the film a more family-like feeling than had it included unnecessary side characters. Annette Bening is the undeniable star of the show. With Natalie Portman gaining incredible momentum for the Oscar, Bening seems destined for second place, but that doesn't change the fact that her performance here is a shining achievement; she carefully balances her character's controlling behavior with her internal self-doubt, and really moved me in the film's pivotal dramatic scenes. Julianne Moore is also exceptional, her go-with-the-flow approach a nice counter-balance to Bening's more uptight showcase. And who could forget the memorable and lovely work by Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson as the children?. They are more than "all right" here, giving performances that move them into the upper tier of young actors. While we are always seeing young stars going off the rails, it is so wonderful to see two young people who are talented and willing to challenge themselves professionally. I expect great things from them in the future.
No doubt, you have heard at least some of the praise that has been heaped upon The Kids Are All Right since its theatrical release, and I am pleased to confirm this praise. The film's ending is a tad questionable, with too much blame being lumped on to one character, but the film as a whole is a poignant and relevant piece of cinema. It is relevant not only because it is dealing with a thoroughly modern family that is anything but (so-called) "normal," but because it handles the themes of marriage and family with such skill and insight. What is a marriage? What is a family? How are two people supposed to stay together forever when, let's face it, humans are probably not programmed for monogamy? It treats a married couple like a married couple, and children like children. When the situation takes a turn for the worse, Nic and Jules fight because they are hurt, and Joni and Laser fight because they just don't understand. No character is all-knowing, a trap that so many family dramas fall into. They are just real. Like us, they stumble through life, trying to figure things out, while doing the best they can. They fail quite often and quite badly...but, really, don't we all? The important thing is not what tears us apart, but what brings us back together.
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