Directed By: Mike Newell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, & Alfred Molina
MPAA Rating: PG-13
My Rating: 6 / 10
If you are one of those people who likes movies to be, you know, smart...well then, there's this dandy documentary called Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work out now on DVD, Blu-Ray, and Netflix Instant Watcher, and I highly recommend it. But for those of us who can enjoy a movie that is, shall we say, a little dumber...okay, a lot dumber, then Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time might be right up your alley, especially if you, like me, have grown tired of self-important, all-too-serious action movies that have forgotten the meaning of the word f-u-n. Just as there is a place for intelligent documentaries and serious dramas, there will always be a need for movies made specifically for mindless, perhaps even guilty, entertainment. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, packed to the gills with action sequence after action sequence, can best be described as James Bond meets 1999's The Mummy by way of Indiana Jones. If that doesn't make you even the slightest bit excited, then remember: Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work is out now on DVD, Blu-Ray, and Netflix Instant Watcher.
Jake Gyllenhaal has bulked up for his role of Dastan, an orphan who was adopted by the King of Persia (Ronald Pickup). Years later, after assisting in the controversial invasion of the holy city of Alamut, Dastan is falsely accused of murdering his father, and must flee his home with the (reluctant) help of Alamut's princess, Tamina (Gemma Arterton), who only tags along because of a mysterious knife Dastan obtained during the invasion of her home. The knife, as it turns out, has the power to turn back the sands of time and could, in theory, make its holder the most powerful ruler in the world. Someone in Dastan's family wants it for his own use...but to turn back time infinitely would also unleash the wrath of the gods and could destroy the entire world, an ending that Dastan and Tamina must race against time to prevent.
Jake Gyllenhaal has bulked up for his role of Dastan, an orphan who was adopted by the King of Persia (Ronald Pickup). Years later, after assisting in the controversial invasion of the holy city of Alamut, Dastan is falsely accused of murdering his father, and must flee his home with the (reluctant) help of Alamut's princess, Tamina (Gemma Arterton), who only tags along because of a mysterious knife Dastan obtained during the invasion of her home. The knife, as it turns out, has the power to turn back the sands of time and could, in theory, make its holder the most powerful ruler in the world. Someone in Dastan's family wants it for his own use...but to turn back time infinitely would also unleash the wrath of the gods and could destroy the entire world, an ending that Dastan and Tamina must race against time to prevent.
So, let's see. We have our standard-fare action hero. We have a beautiful and feisty woman to accompany him. We have a bad guy who is planning to destroy the world, this time inadvertently. We have a plethora of henchmen who support the bad guy. And we have an almost seemless string of action sequences set in exotic locales. If it sounds like the plot of the latest James Bond film, that's because Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time follows the Bond formula so closely, they might as well have called it The Desert is Not Enough or The Man with the Golden Dune. Fortunately for this reviewer, I adore James Bond, even the worst films in the franchise; and, with MGM's financial troubles delaying the next installment indefinitely, I have needed some paint-by-number shoot-'em-up to tide me over. Prince of Persia substituted swords for guns and camels for Aston Martins, but it sufficed nonetheless. Fast-paced and not under any illusions about what it is, Prince of Persia is exactly what, I imagine, its makers set out for it to be. In a world where many movies take themselves so seriously and are so self-important, while actually being complete garbage, this movie has no dillusions of grandeur, and benefits from it immensely.
I think I enjoyed Prince of Persia so much because, the very same morning I watched it, I also watched Showgirls...an unfortunate biproduct of Netflix Instant Watcher is that, because it's practically free and so convenient, you'll watch just about any movie, even Showgirls. Anyway, as I watched Showgirls, in particular Elizabeth Berkley's cringe-worthy performance, I realized that she really believed she was gunning for the Academy Award. You could practically see her picking out her awards attire as she gave Kyle MacLachlan that lap dance. But, let's face it, Showgirls ended up sucking and her performance sucked in it. There is no self-awareness in its ineptitude; that is a movie that was made with the Oscars in mind, but with no skill, intelligence, or value. Prince of Persia is a movie that recognizes it won't be nominated for any Oscars. Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, and Ben Kingsley weren't dreaming of Oscars when they gave their performances. They all just set out to make a fun, popcorn movie that, above all, entertained...and, in my opinion, mission accomplished.
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